This is the end for me. I’m afraid I’ve finally found the limits of my body.
I’ve never been a stranger to the challenges that must be faced to expand one’s palate. The Thurmanator? Bring it on. Triple atomic wings? Where do I sign up? Dinner cooked by Bailey James? One small step for a man.
But after eating the bacon-wrapped crust deep dish pizza from Little Caesar’s, I’ve been forced to accept my own mortality. There is only so much the human body can handle before it submits to Death.
The question then becomes, “was it worth it?” In a word, “no.” In two words, “Hell no.”
There was nothing special about this pizza. Let’s go ahead and get that out of the way. I’ve never been a fan of Little Caesar’s, but that hasn’t stopped me from indulging occasionally in the past. Their Hot ‘n Ready pizzas are like visiting an ex. It tastes good for the first slice, but then you remember why you left in the first place. And just like that ex, you always feel a little guilty when you see its remains boxed up in your fridge.
The bacon-wrapped crust is the entire selling point, and I’ll admit that it’s a brilliant use of the hype train. Other than that it’s just another deep dish Hot ‘n Ready pizza (admittedly the best type of pizza Little Caesar’s serves). The bacon tastes less like tasty meat and more like a cube of salt. Yes, bacon is extremely salty, but there’s supposed to be some flavor to it.
If you’re looking for the sweet release of death, give this pizza a shot. If you’re looking to show your appreciation for the bacon fad happening right now, buy a pound at the store and keep your self-esteem intact.
Post and Photos by Ian Sims.