Monday Cheeseball


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One of the most unfortunate realizations about adulthood is that there are circumstances which will require you to make food that you can’t hoard for yourself. These kinds of scenarios include fancy dinner parties thrown by your friend with an inexplicably high-paying job, work gatherings the company didn’t want to cater, and when your mom comes to visit and you need to mislead her about your quality of life. The only thing worse is when these events fall on a Monday, the unholiest abomination of all days.

No need to worry, though: we’ve got the perfect fix. Our Monday cheeseball is made for any time you’ve got to impress and can give the start of the week a kick with fresh green onions and bacon bits. Take it on a first date! Bring it to your next job interview! Mail it to your least favorite aunt who’s in the process of revising her will! Or…well, yeah, you should probably share it.

Sorry, but it’s for the best.

Silver Spork’s Monday Cheeseball

4 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1 bunch of green onions, chopped
12 oz. bacon, cooked and crumbled
16 oz. Hellman’s mayonnaise
Dash of pepper (here meaning whatever your gut tells you)
Dash of Lowry’s seasoned salt
1 cup chopped pecans

Combine all the ingredients except the chopped pecans in a bowl and then form a cheeseball with your hands (wash them first, obviously). Let the ball chill for at least an hour in the fridge. Then, cover your delicious mound of cheese in the chopped pecans and let chill another hour. Hide from your roommates until ready to serve. Throw it down beside some crackers or pretzels and watch it disappear like magic.

Post and cheeseball by Bailey James. Photo by Ian Sims.

*We at Silver Spork believe a cheeseball is a single beautiful object that is only truly captured by deleting the space between “cheese” and “ball”