I generally don’t have a lot of problems with J.K. Rowling; however, her biggest flaw seems to be her natural inclination towards everything Gryffindor, the house best known for its inability to tell the difference between bravery and stupidity.
Slytherin, of course, believes in wisdom above all else. The ability to assess a situation (give threats an ocular pat down, if you will) and decide whether or not the benefits outweigh the risks. And you know what? Just because someone gets sorted into Slytherin doesn’t mean that we aspire to kill all muggleborns. Some of us just want to rule the world. So what if we were born with ambition? We’re always striving to better ourselves at any cost. But you won’t find us ditching our friends in need. Fierce loyalty runs in these veins, right alongside the venom. Besides, you can’t be the House of Merlin and not know you represent an extraordinary lineage.
Slytherins like to party just as much as everyone else; just don’t expect to see a Weasley bumbling around with one of our drinks in their hand. Two drinks you’ll find at every Slytherin shindig are The Regulus and Merlin’s Beard! (exclamation point mandatory).
2 ounces absinthe
1 ounce green chartreuse
1 teaspoon of lemon juice
1 sugar cube
Small heavy pendant
Pour absinthe, green chartreuse, and lemon juice into an ice filled shaker and shake. Strain over sugar cube into a cocktail glass. Take a match and carefully light the drink. Let burn for effect or blow it out.
Only once the drink is finished can the pendant be removed. Use this drink to honor Regulus Black, the hero who tried to destroy the horcruxes decades prior to the-boy-who-whatever.
¼ shot lime vodka
¼ shot lemon juice
½ shot melon liqueur (Silver Spork recommends Midori)
Pour into a shot glass and mix. Down this shot and make sure to shout this popular exclamation once you’ve finished your shot. Anyone who doesn’t might as well be a Hufflepuff.
Post and recipes by Ian Sims. Art by Angeli Rafer.