Snob of the Week: Coffee Snob

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Much like the first of the snob series, I don’t know how much of a coffee snob I really am. I’m pretty sure my barista sister and friends are much more into the nuances of notes and origin than I am. Although one thing is certain – I do drink coffee for the flavor. But that’s probably more related to the whole “I’ve flooded my system with so much caffeine over the years that now I’m like some Java-fueled X-Men character” thing.

Ok, so I might not be a snob. But I love coffee. Like, seriously. I. Love. Coffee. If I could marry coffee and date Netflix on the side, that would be my perfect life. Or in other terms, I can outdrink a Gilmore. I realize there’s a little something off when you brag about beating a fictional character, but I could. No, seriously, Lorelei Gilmore has nothing on me. I have brewed, on numerous occasions, an entire 8 cup pot of coffee – just for myself. Which I proceeded to drink in 30 minutes all by myself.

But what does this dedication to coffee really mean, besides pretty much being my entire Instagram account (@latteandliterature)? It means that I do know what types of coffee concoctions I like, and typically the roast – dark roast for me. I want my coffee dark and “full of body.” And I know how I like my coffee made. I guess this is where the snob part of me actually comes out. Because while I don’t detest general drip brews and the like,* I do have a preferred brewing method: Chemex.

What’s a Chemex, you ask? It’s a magical coffee maker. Ok, a more Wiki-friendly version is this: a Chemex is glass coffeemaker shaped like an hourglass that has a wooden brace at its center. It’s a pour-over style coffeemaker, which means that you brew coffee by placing a filter with grinds in the top cylinder, then (in a circular motion) slowly pour water over the grinds. The water then “pours over” into the bottom, making coffee.

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Pour-overs, in the coffee snob world, are a preferred brew method for the notion that it makes better-tasting coffee. Or in snobby talk: the coffee has a fuller, more authentic taste because the beans are being directly affected.

In all snobby seriousness, pour-overs are the best way to drink coffee. Coffee tastes like coffee when brewed that way. When you smell coffee beans and go, “OMG! that’s amazing!” the pour-over method is how you get that smell to translate into taste. And A LOT of coffee shops do have pour-over options; it’s usually listed on the menu – all you have to do is ask. I mean, try it. Hell, even Starbucks does pour-overs and that place is all about getting coffee to you quickly, even if it tastes burnt and gross.

Ok, so sometime I get snobby at coffee chains. I like to home-brew or go to the hipster coffee shops. They might ironically think it’s cool to be that dedicated to a bean, but I’m taking their false sincerity; brew me a good cup o’ joe, you flannel-wearing youths!

Hopefully, I gave you little insight into the echelons of coffee or encouraged you to branch out and try something new, caffeine-wise. Because we always love having more people in the Coffee Club. We might be a jittery bunch, but we promise that’s just the caffeine.

*I can’t say I hate anything because I do drink from the big, gross, coffee machines found in work break rooms. But as I’m usually the one making the coffee (and cleaning it, I like to think that makes it a bit better). Although I WILL NEVER gas station coffee. I do have limits. Or decaf. But that’s not really coffee anyway…

Post and Photos by Dayna Brownfield.