Space Ques(adilla): Misadventures in the Kitchen


I have always been of the opinion that things worth doing should be done fast, with as much power and energy as can be mustered. This would probably explain why I’m not a very good cook and also why I have a reputation for being spacey.

I recently brought this governing philosophy to the kitchen (or, rather, the stove) when I tried to make a basic quesadilla for lunch yesterday. Now, when I say basic, I mean the quesadilla at its most visceral form: cheese and tortilla, no fuss or frills. Some people might argue that this isn’t enough to make a satisfying meal, but those people are mistaken. Sour cream, salsa, and, God forbid, meat all serve to distract from something nature has perfected.

My first step was to cut the tortilla in half to make it the half-moon shape we all know and love. Then my roommate stopped me and pointed out that the tortilla isn’t cut in half; it’s folded. Otherwise how am I supposed to keep the filling from sliding out the back? I thought about it. Was I remembering quesadillas wrong? It seemed impossible, but he had a point. So I ate the sliced tortilla and remade the recipe, this time folding the shell.

One of the hardest things for me is moving the quesadilla to the pan. Fortunately, during this attempt I had a rare spot of luck and the quesadilla-to-be migrated to the heat without any problems.

Unfortunately, that was where my luck ended. I was using an especially small frying pan that heated up quicker than anyone (see: Bailey James) could have anticipated. Within thirty seconds the bottom of my quesadilla was black, and the cheese barely warm. I flipped it quickly and turned the heat down from nine, hoping I could still save the situation. The pan was already too hot and immediately fried the other side before I whisked the whole thing off the stove. It was a burned, uneven, undercooked mess.

But you know what? That shit was still out of this world. Turns out you can’t ruin a quesadilla.

*Silver Spork News does not endorse Bailey James in the kitchen.

Post and art by Bailey James.