Gallo Pinto


So, all of your friends studied abroad but you? Sucks to suck. Lucky for you I was eligible for enough student loans to make it to Costa Rica. While there, the psychotic 60-year-old woman I lived with taught me how to make this delicious dish that anyone can afford!

Gallo Pinto

Vegetable oil
1/4 cup chopped onions
2 cans of black beans
3 cups of cooked white rice

First what you’re going to do is get a medium to large sized pan. Cover the bottom in about 1/8 of an inch of vegetable oil. Heat it up a bit, then add your chopped onion. Try not to burn yourself with the backsplash when you add the onion because you’ll feel like an idiot. Once the onion is just about see-through, add in the two cans of black beans. Be sure to add all the nasty liquid stuff you usually drain out because it’s a Central American dish and people are starving there or something so we eat the slime. Cook up the beans until they are well-heated or you’re no longer patient enough to wait anymore.

Now add your three cups of pre-made white rice. Cook it all together until all of the slime is absorbed. Be sure to mix everything well and don’t let the rice stick to the bottom, unless you want to spend hours cleaning your pan afterwards.

Go ahead and turn off the heat. Now start plucking the leaves off your cilantro. Depending on how hungry you are or how late you’re running for work will depend on how much you add. Really, the more you add, the more delicious the dish will be. Try hard to be patient. Stir well, add salt to taste. Serve with your favorite fair trade coffee and lie to everyone that you’ve been abroad.

Post  and photo by Kylie Torres.