Break the Internet Buns

Silver Spork Break the Internet Buns

The Internet seems to have an obsession with buns lately (and not the kind that matter), so we figured we’d just go with the flow. Whether it’s Kim Kardashian trying to flaunt it before another Baby West or Chelsea Handler throwing down the gauntlet, the topic has been impossible to avoid. Silver Spork believes in natural things. When we take photos for our site we’re not going to spend hours trimming up that waist and snuffing out stretch lines. Let buns be buns.

So don’t waste time breaking the Internet with Kim Kardashian. That photoshopped Barbie doll isn’t worth the oil they dunked her in. Check out these buns instead. They taste better, and I guarantee these won’t set unrealistic expectations for the young women and men of Western culture. Unless, of course, they expect them to grant wishes, in which case they might disappoint a little.

Break the Internet Buns

5 cups all-purpose flour
2 (.25 ounce) packages of dry yeast
1 cup milk
¾ cup water
½ cup vegetable oil
¼ cup white sugar
1 teaspoon salt

In a large bowl mix together the flour and the yeast. Nothing too complex, just make sure the yeast is spread throughout the flour.

In a second bowl heat milk, water, oil, sugar, and salt until it’s lukewarm. Make sure it’s not too hot or the yeast will be killed. Or too cold since the yeast won’t activate. Yeast is an irritating but worthwhile ingredient. If you give it the attention it deserves, you’ll probably end up releasing your most talked about cover in the past decade. Oh, sorry. I forgot what we were talking about.

Add the liquid to the flour mixture all at once and beat until smooth.

Add the rest of the flour to make a soft dough and mix well. Flour a flat surface and turn dough onto said surface. Place bowl over the dough and let rest for 10 minutes.

Shape dough into 12 slightly flat balls and place on greased baking sheet to rise until double in size.

Bake in preheated 400 degrees F oven for 12 to 15 minutes.

Afterward, lather those buns up in olive oil and hire a racist photographer to immortalize them forever. Because it only happened if it’s on the cover of Paper magazine, right?

Post by Ian Sims.