F*cking French Toast


Some people have intricate great-grandma’s pot roast type recipes that are handed down to each generation. Then there’s me. I don’t have a delicious lineage-based meal, but I do have a recipe that my mom (MamaB) taught me for French toast.

The recipe isn’t really complex. Hell, half the time I don’t even use measuring cups for two ingredients. The most “dah-duh” moment comes from the rare occasion when I splash in a little vanilla flavor. The thing about this recipe though, is that it’s the first thing my mom taught me to make. And for me, that’s what makes it’s the best and a great tradition.

Now, onto how to make some f*cking French toast.

 F*cking French Toast

(All measurements are purposely imprecise)

Vanilla Extract

Get an egg and crack it into a bowl. Now grab some milk and pour some into the bowl. Whisk the egg and milk together (and if you want to go with the MamaB traditional method, use a fork instead of a whisk). Add a dash of vanilla extract if you’re really adventurous!

Get out your bread. Take a slice and dip it into the egg and milk mixture, making sure to get each side pretty coated with the mixture (you can use the fork to help secure the bread slice if you need).

Put the bread in a skillet over medium heat for few minutes, flipping it to make sure both sides are nice and cooked. It should be a light golden color.

Repeat steps 6&7 until you either have enough French toast to sink a ship or run out of bread.

It’s best to set the finished slices of French toast on a serving platter, but also feel free to go the direct route and put it directly on your plate. You can also top your French toast with maple syrup or honey. But if my MamaB asks, I never said anything about maple syrup — I told you French toast could only be served the real way — with honey.

Post, Recipe, and Photo by Dayna Brownfield.